We all want to win people over at one point or another. Whether it’s your 5 year old who you want to get dressed, or your spouse that you want to convince to have what you want for dinner. Or, maybe it’s a client that you’re trying to win over to work with you or go through your process your way. Here are my steps for winning people over.
I always go back to my selling process the big four steps which I honestly can apply to almost anything. From managing people, selling myself, working with teams, or with my clients. If you want to get people on board these are the four steps I continually use.
This is that likability factor. You probably have this going for you with your family and friends, but with new people you will have to build the connection. Show them who you are, by discussing stories or situations where you were genuine, honest, hilarious, whatever, so they can see what you’re all about and decide if you’re a right match for them. If they give you clues like they are wearing a St. Louis Blue’s jersey, you can comment on how much you LOVE the St. Louis Blue’s and that you actually have a friend who plays for the team. (If this is true of course.) If you don’t like the Blues but like hockey you might highlight that you both like hockey by saying something like, “Oh no, a blue’s fan?! I was routing for Dallas, but you guys booted us out.” something to show that you like the sport but not necessarily the same team. It’s a great way to open up the conversation which allows you to build rapport. Listening, showing them you hear them by repeating back what they say for clarification is another great way to build trust with your clients.
If they’re trusting you to buy your product, choose your preferred restaurant or put their toys away, you need to build credibility. What makes you the expert? Why should they trust your opinion? We trust our doctors most of the time because they are a doctor, they wear a stethoscope and usually have their educational certificates posted on the wall. You can build your own credibility by talking about your years of experience in a comforting way. “I know this decision is confusing, but I was just at this restaurant and the food was incredible, and my friend went to that restaurant last week and said the menu has changed.” Or “I’ve been working with clients just like you to successfully scale their business online for the past three years, I know it’s scary, but I am here to help.” Subtle ways to drop your knowledge is key. Nobody likes a bragger.
What’s in it for them? You have to make it clear why going one way versus another is going to get them out of pain and into pleasure. This isn’t feature dumping, it’s about getting to the emotion behind the decision. Imagine you’re deciding between houses, feature dumping would be talking about the 10ft ceilings, hardwood floors, open concept. Invoking emotion would be discussing the feeling of coming home to a home with easy to clean floors and an open space for your kids to hang out in and your family to gather around and share stories about the day. Romance the idea, make them feeling like they’ve made the decision and ask how it feels. This will help them see one way versus another and feel more confident with their decision. For the five year old, imagine we had a clean open space to practice summersaults where no one hurts themselves on toys and gets sad. For your spouse, I’d rather spend more time eating delicious food we know is good and talk about our future, rather than be disappointed by somewhere new and have no time to talk.
Ask for the Sale
This is the final question. Which house are you choosing? Which restaurant are we going to? What do you think? Will you put the toys away? They might say they aren’t sure yet, which means you have to go back to the steps as you might have by passed one by too quickly. It’s really important to ask so you can gauge where they are with the decision making. If they make a choice, you’ve helped them to get to the final answer well, if they didn’t get on board, you might not have invoked enough emotion as to why your way is better. Or perhaps they’ve put up some obstacles that you must first overcome. (You can do this with the steps above as well.)
Don’t use these steps to manipulate people, make sure you always have their best interest in mind. Hope this helps, let me know how you’ve won people over in the past?